Here we go. Of all the unwieldy things this show chose to adapt into its new format, the one at the core of this episode is probably the worst. And from the title I bet you already know what it is.
Seems the good people of Acmetropolis are still
trying to make up their minds about where to put their worst criminals, as now
we see the “Acmetropolis Intergalactic Prison Ship.” Massive (remember him?)
breaks out of his cell, commandeers a ship, and flies to the nearest museum to
start robbing it. Guy doesn’t waste any time, you gotta hand that to him.
By the way, they didn’t get Michael Clarke Duncan to
come back to voice Massive again. Instead he’s vocalized by another black man
with three names, Kevin Michael Richardson, who voices Taz and Wile E.
Incidentally, both actors would go on to voice this guy.
Funny how that works out.
The Loonatics (sans Lexi and Roadrunner) are quickly
on the scene, with Bugs thinking it’s strange. “I never knew Massive had a
taste for art.” Daffy replies with “When you’re that big, you pretty much have
a taste for anything,” which I think might
be a joke. No matter how you slice it, though, that’s an idiotic thing for Bugs
to say. Massive was interested in stealing anything valuable enough, and yes,
we did see him steal a large objet d’art in his debut episode. The asset for which was recycled in this very episode, in fact.
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| Then... |
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| ...now. |
As in his previous solo appearance, Massive’s
combination of control over gravity and nigh-invulnerability soon has him mopping
the floor with Taz, Daffy and Wile E., leaving Bugs to quip, “Well Mr.
Big-and-Tall, looks like it’s just you and me!” He must be shaking in his
boots, knowing full well you can’t hurt him at all either.
Oh, but the real draw’s a figure in a mech suit who
decloaks on a nearby rooftop. If the coloration and oversized gun don’t suggest
anything, the wearer’s voice will.
Yeah, this is the episode with Elmer Fudd.
Lord have mercy on us all.
Fudd sets his gun to “rabbit,” which might be a
throwback to that one short where Wile E. invented a flying saucer that homes
in to whatever animal its dial points to, but I don’t know. It ends up shooting
a tranquilizer dart anyway, one that looks like a big plunger yet, and why is
that suited specially for rabbits? He ends up hitting Daffy in the butt with it
as the combatants zoom around, knocking him into Bugs and letting Massive get
away with his loot.
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| Was he hunting Tweety before? |
He’s unable to get off another shot at Bugs because he’s
behind a statue and apparently hunters aren’t allowed to move to get a better
shot.
Bugs and Daffy are on the prison ship next scene to
look into Massive’s escape, apparently, but spare some time for a little boring
banter with another old foe.
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| Thanks for the establishing caption. Again. Go ahead, scroll up. |
Otto the Odd: “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the
Loser-tics. What brings you to the slammer?”
Bugs: “Otto the Odd. Always nice to see an
unfriendly face. Locked away, where it belongs.”
Otto the Odd: “<laughs> I missed you too.
Maybe we can exchange e-mails. You can add me to your buddy list.”
Daffy: “More like add you to my ‘odd little bugs to
stomp on’ list. Ha ha, that’s a good one.”
Painfully lame as always. Really though, if the
company wanted this project to succeed, maybe they not only should’ve made up
their minds what it was but hired halfway-decent writers. Weird they’d go to
all the trouble to get Dee Bradley Baker back in the booth for a lame
throwaway scene like that, too. Were they that hard up for runtime?
The prison uses electrified bars on its cells,
leading to Daffy “comically” getting zapped on them. I have to ask, why are
they still on if the cell’s empty? Not only that, but when the bars are completely torn apart and couldn’t keep my
grandma confined.
Having achieved nothing except getting Daffy hurt,
the Loonatics head home. Bugs watches the news and hears that renowned artist
Scooter Bullock’s disappeared, along with several of his most famous paintings.
“Can’t be a coincidence. An artist goes missing and then several of his
paintings are snatched.” Well, not in a TV show it can’t, no.
Fudd’s around looking to nab Bugs again (Where his
prey has the home court advantage, all kinds of high-tech defense systems and a
bunch of superpowered backup. You and I know neither of the latter rates much,
but the show wants us to believe it does). Daffy tries to get a snack, Taz
tries to steal Daffy’s snack, and there’s so much noise it makes Fudd fall off
the side of the building before he can take another shot at Bugs. You see what
I mean about nothing having changed with the comic relief villains even with
the genre switch? Oh, but wait, it gets better.
They turn on their Plot Convenience Monitoring
System to see Massive robbing another museum, this being a “Western” one which
Bugs helpfully explains belongs a singing space cowboy named Hoppalong Chiron
and his robo-horse, Thunder. Yeah, he says that like the horse is a part-owner
too.
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| Thanks for thinking we wouldn't notice, Oh Great Leader. And never mind how if you look hard you can see Taz and Roadrunner in the recycled launch footage before this part... |
Bugs’s above plan seems even dumber since, upon
checking in to see if the monitor crew’s got a lead on Massive, Taz hasn’t been
paying attention at all and only stuffing his face, and belches into the mic in
answer. “You don’t say,” Bugs wittily replies. Hey dumbass, you’re the one who
handpicked him for the job. And it’s not as if the team member with the most
inherent firepower might be someone it’d be a good idea to have around when
you’re going face-to-face with a nigh-indestructible gravity-manipulator.
Carrot-chomping moron.
Fudd’s on hand, but while sneaking around invisibly
he bumps into Daffy. I’m calling out these blunders of his because the show’s
going to feed us probably the biggest bit of Take Our Word For It nonsense in
its entire run. Just wait.
Massive steals the aforementioned robo-horse, which
apparently was an exhibit and not part-owner after all. Bugs pulls a gun on him
for some reason. You might think it thematically appropriate, a showdown in a
Western-themed museum and all. But nothing happens around that and nothing’s
said to that effect (Actually, the gun looks to be the one Wile E. came up with
to neutralize Massive’s powers in his first appearance. The one they ended up
not using on him. Good on him for bringing it, but
with all the other stupid shit they point out in this episode, would a quick
reminder what that gun’s for be asking too much?).
All that happens is Daffy teleports in front of Bugs
and blocks the bolas Fudd had meant for Senor Long Ears. Fudd bumps a
chandelier while distortedly jumping to a walkway to flee, and Massive gets
away by blowing the roof off the building. Fudd flies away bragging nothing
gets away from him, the greatest hunter in the universe!
Bugs asks Wile E. if he’s found anything that can
give them a lead, and indeed he has. Somehow, don’t ask how because I’ll ignore
you, he found a hair on Daffy that doesn’t belong to any of the Loonatics. And
by using his comic book science, he’s able to find out it belongs to…Electro J.
Fudd!
Pretty good trick since like his progenitor, he’s
bald.
Daffy’s rightly unimpressed by Fudd, but Lexi shuts
him up. The Fudds have been a line of “great hunters since the beginning of
time.” And in case you need me to point it out, that’s the big steaming gob of
nonsense I mentioned before.
This is about the one and only time they try to
directly link this show, in-show, to the original property. With this junk
about the Fudds being a dynasty of master hunters. Say it with me guys, ha ha,
no. Elmer pulled off like two wins in all of Looney Tunes history (there was “Rabbit Rampage” and “Hare Brush,”
and that’s it, I think. I could count “What’s Opera, Doc?” but he feels bad
about it, so…I don’t know). Even in the version of history they show, its examples
consist of a Fudd being distracted by some cute, harmless thing while something much
bigger and meaner which according to Lexi killed him seconds after the picture was
taken is right behind him, completely unnoticed. One of whom’s a caveman.
I almost feel like I’m watching Trigun again, where everyone has heard Vash the Stampede's
basically the Devil incarnate with the power to leave entire cities smoldering
in his wake. But when we meet him, he’s actually this gigantic loser who
doesn’t want to hurt anyone (even if the stories about the destruction he’s
capable of aren’t exaggerated).
But Lexi’s idiotic little slideshow isn’t supposed
to be revealing the truth behind the legend, it’s supposed to be reinforcing
Fudd’s boast after his latest failure that he’s the greatest hunter in the
universe. What could I possibly say to that? What better proof could I possibly
give of how epically stupid this show is?
I suppose there’s how when the alarm goes off at a
cookie factory, Bugs whips out his Batmanesque Detective Skills™ once again and
opines “I have a feeling when we find Massive, we’ll find Fudd.” What piercing
insight, as there was nothing whatever to indicate he was there the last two
times…oh wait, between Daffy suddenly being tranqed and Bugs noticing someone
cloaked Predator-style fleeing the scene of Massive’s last robbery, yeah there
definitely was.
The team arrives at the cookie factory and indeed
Massive’s there, and uses his powers to bombard the Loonatics with the cookies.
Taz is up to the challenge and starts gobbling them out of the air. It doesn’t
even look like the other cookies are hitting him even if they could do any
damage. In fact even though he’s standing right in the middle of them, he has
to actually reach out and grab them to get them into his mouth.
A fight proper breaks out and Bugs actually is
knocked on his butt by a big wad of cookies. Yes, really. Roadrunner spins
Massive around really fast, and Daffy’s accidentally knocked onto a hook that
carries him by Fudd and knocks him into a vat of cookie dough just before he
tries to take another shot at Bugs.
Wile E. shoots Massive with that gun meant to
nullify his powers, but instead it makes him explode; he was really a robot
lookalike. Deep breaths, Star. Deep breaths. Wile E. spouts off that the
robot’s CPU can probably give them some clues, and Bugs tells him to take the
robot’s CPU and see if it can give them some clues. Which he clearly had no
intention of doing before being told that.
The Loonatics do some digging and find out that the
greatest artist, singing space cowboy and cookie chef in the world were all
kidnapped around the same time. The writers still trying desperately to
convince us to believe what they say, Lexi asks, “What’s the connection between
a great hunter like Fudd, and a rampaging robot?”
Those Batmanesque Detective Skills™ go to work again
as Bugs figures that with all these top creative types disappearing, Fudd might
be collecting them, and the reason he’s been using a decoy of Massive is to
lure out and capture the greatest crime fighter too. Daffy immediately says
that’d have to be him, but Lexi says that’d have to be Bugs. Look, she probably
doesn’t know this for sure yet, but Fudd would’ve nailed her nominee for
greatest hero every time if Daffy hadn’t screwed him up without even trying.
STOP TELLING ME HOW AWESOME THESE CHARACTERS ARE WHEN THEY’RE SO FORKING NOT.
In fact, let’s just take a look at some of Bugs’s
greatest hits, why don’t we?
- A rock monster knocks Taz off a cliff. Attacking it in a fit of righteous anger to avenge his teammate, Bugs manages to knock it right on top of said teammate. Who’s all right, no thanks to his brainless leader.
- Despite knowing a villain’s taken over the base, he can’t for the life of him understand why the front door won’t open.
- He thinks it won’t be any trouble to blast his way out of a jail cell built to contain a supervillain, leading to him nearly incinerating himself and three of his teammates.
- Distracting his boss during a space dogfight, resulting in her being captured by the enemy. And resulting in Daffy saving her butt.
- Failing to notice that evil mutant dolphins were evil mutants. Later being defeated and captured by a Sea World attraction.
- Attacking an opponent from behind. Which might not’ve been so bad, if not for how he called out the same opponent on doing that to him, and how that fight’s supposed to be proof that Bugs is a “true warrior” and worthy of the Legendary Weapon of Legends.
- Taking the incompetent guy and simpleminded, gluttonous brute as his only ridealong backup on a mission whose failure will plunge the universe into war for a millennium and a half.
- Just now he got his ass kicked by a swarm of marauding chocolate chip cookies.
- And I’m not going to get into it now, but as long as I’m reading off Bugs’s rap sheet I might as well point out the climactic fight of the season ends on what’s easily Bugs’s proudest moment in the history of defying his hype.
I’m all for making a hero flawed so he doesn’t
become a boring all-powerful god, but if you’re going to call one character
incompetent, and another hyper-competent, there needs to actually be a
contrast.
But as to Fudd’s intentions, he’s decided that
because Daffy’s inadvertently foiled every one of his attempts on Bugs, the
water fowl must be the real greatest hero and changes targets.
They do in fact go with the laughable logic that
Bugs is Fudd’s target and use him as bait in a trap. “Isn’t this pretty risky?”
Lexi asks. Isn’t that something you knew when you agreed to put on the tights?
I don’t know, since they never showed how the Loonatics became a team and never
will. You’d hope it’d go without saying, though.
Daffy sulks elsewhere at this nonsense about who’s
the best hero, and the other Loonatics prove so wrapped up in their delusion of
Bugs’s awesomeness nobody’s around to help out when Fudd traps Daffy in a power
net.
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| Pleasant dreams tonight, kids. |
Fudd blasts off, taking Daffy to the orbital prison
(and he’s okay without any kind of pressure suit)…
…and after entering a secret room introduces Daffy
to his boss, Otto the Odd!
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| Why do the bars only raise high enough for Daffy, and make Fudd duck to get under them? |
.jpg)
You lazy pieces of crap! You’re playing the secret
mastermind card with this character again???
It worked so well they just had to use it again?!
Rage aside, it turns out Otto’s taken over the
prison and has himself a private little sanctum full of priceless art
treasures. More than that, it’s also where he’s put several people in stasis as
part of the ultimate collection: people. The greatest artist, cookie chef, and
singing space cowboy of all time, as previously mentioned, as well as the
greatest clown. I’m a little surprised Otto doesn’t claim that honor for
himself, but maybe that’s because he’d have to freeze himself and put himself
in his collection.
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| The greatest artist of all time. |
Maybe not, though, since he describes himself as the
greatest showman of all time, which
goes along so well with how he doesn’t appear to be showing any of this off.
How convenient all of these people who are the greatest in their field ever are
alive now, too, so Otto’s efforts don’t have to involve anything like grave
robbing or cloning.
Anyway, Otto was indeed saving the space for
greatest hero of all time, to which end he hired Fudd. Daffy does have
a spot in Otto’s collection of people, but it’s as the greatest screw-up hero of all time. The greatest
hero of all time spot’s reserved for Bugs, because yeah, sure he is.
Maybe it’s all in the way the news of the Loonatics’
battles with the forces of evil gets out, that people don’t know the real
reason for their continued success is the villains’ incompetence eclipsing the
Loonatics’ own (this season more than ever). But there’s no way I’m giving a
show like this that kind of credit, and no way I’m acknowledging the Loonatics
as any good at what they do. That only leaves me with assuming there’s a very
small pool of candidates, or that when Otto says “of all time” he means “of our
time.”
Otto reveals he’s actually adding them both to his collection since Fudd’s the
greatest hunter! Even sticking to the show’s precepts, isn’t that a little
doubtful by now? He only succeeded in capturing the greatest screw-up hero of
all time, and has bad enough judgment in his prey to mistake Daffy for the just
plain greatest hero. And throughout this scene, Otto’s been making fun of
Fudd’s speech impediment by copying it himself. Make of that what you will.
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| Do I even want to know? |
He’s not even waiting until Fudd’s used his
unparalleled hunting skills and captured the one member of this menagerie who
can put up a fight, either. Otto’s going to freeze him and add him to the
collection right now, “right next to [Daffy], your greatest conquest.” Is Otto
getting rid of Fudd because he’s not in fact that great? Wouldn’t he not belong
in the collection, then? None of this makes any freaking sense.
They hide and Otto chases them around, and it might
be possible for a chunky midget in a jester suit riding a unicycle to be scary,
but this one isn’t. Otto gets Fudd with his freeze ray, but he and Daffy still
manage to escape by abandoning Fudd’s mech-suit. Which apparently doesn’t have
any weapons they could be using
right about now.
Bugs shows up then and disarms Otto with his stupid
eye lasers. And with his Batmanesque Detective Skills™, Bugs already figured
out everything that’s going on, since Otto’s the “greatest collector of all
time.” And when were we supposed to have found that out about the character? Unless
that’s what he was supposed to be doing with turning random kids into mixed-up
mutants--and how the hell could that count as what he’s doing now—never. There’s
being a good deductive thinker who pieces things together from various clues, and
then there’s just magically gifting the characters with knowledge of the true
plot. This is even worse than “Cape Duck” where Bugs figured out the Slasher in
jail was a phony from the color of his toothbrush.
It does him no good, as Otto only lost his handheld
freeze ray, and had a much bigger floating freeze the whole time. Which he uses
to freeze Bugs. But then Bugs suddenly cracks open, revealing he’s nothing but
a…<writer quivers with barely suppressed rage> robot double.
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| Knew that guy's jokes were too lame for him to be real. |
Hey, writers? I have a question! If that’s what
Otto’s freeze ray does to mechanical contraptions, why didn’t that happen to
Fudd’s mech-suit?
Bugs and the other Loonatics burst in through a
crawl space that’s behind one of Otto’s paintings for some reason (the painting
even flips closed again once they’re all through), Bugs quipping he’s sorry for
being late but they couldn’t find a parking spot. No wonder Otto wants him,
he’s the greatest comedian of all time too.
Wile E. puts a power net over Otto…who was
anticipating this and he was really a robot double too. Before he can freeze
the real Loonatics, he manages to completely forget he didn’t catch Fudd and
Daffy, who knocks Otto into the path of his own freeze ray with a power egg.
The other Loonatics congratulate Daffy for saving
the day, and it’s absolutely adorable how they almost seem to be acting as if
this is out of the ordinary for him. Yes he’s an overbearing, egotistical jerk,
but he still manages to achieve positive results more often than the show acts
like.
Fudd’s arrested, Otto’s captives are freed, and
Daffy’s zapped by the freeze ray as we fade to credits because that’s a quick
and easy joke to close on.
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| Up your cottontail, Bugs. |
You guessed already, but I hate this episode. I hate
the whole show, obviously, but this one’s the very embodiment of the worst sin
a writer can commit. Show me, don’t tell me. Along with that, it suffers more
than most for the even greater genre confusion brought on by the second season.
You know, how they still wanted it to work as a superhero show and new
direction for the property, while trying to bring back the zany humor people
equate with Looney Tunes, and never
figuring out how to strike an effective balance.
Since this article spends so much time dwelling on
the subject of who’s the best hero, maybe you’d like the chance to prove you’re the best.
You could hardly do any worse than these clownbags.
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