Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Loonatics Unleashed - It Came From Outer Space (Snark)

Wile E.’s hard at work in his lab, and fails to notice a large rush of air indicating Roadrunner sneaking by him at high speed. I’d say he’s absorbed in his work, but this is the same super genius who had to scientifically determine that some guys he saw teleport had teleported.

Roadrunner uses a science thingy to make a single birdseed big enough for a sandwich, and is caught by an indignant Wile E. He has some other nerd stuff to do somewhere else, though, and despite Roadrunner just sneaking in to exploit his inventions, Wile E.’s satisfied with a promise that Roadrunner won’t do it anymore.

Not only does Roadrunner start messing with Wile E.’s stuff as soon as he’s gone, Lexi comes in and starts messing with it too as soon as they find something that looks like a video game. Hey Lexi, how’d you like it if Wile E. borrowed your surfboard without asking? Of course since this is a TV show, it’s an incredibly simplistic spaceship shooting game. Lexi even tries for the high score.

They make a little too much noise shooting at electronic asteroids and spaceships, causing Wile E. to run back in and tell them that’s not a game, it’s the controls for a very real weapon system. The spaceship they were shooting at was very real, and belongs to a now very pissed off Marvin the Martian. Or, Melvin. Probably the laziest reinvention on the show, but then, how do you change Marvin to be more suitable for an action show except by giving him bigger guns? Which he immediately aims at Acmetropolis.

After theme song Marvin’s on the Loonatics’ TV, demanding their complete and total surrender for blowing up his starbase or he’ll blow up their stupid city. I mean planet.

Daffy derides Marvin’s threat, daring him to blow up the moon if he’s so tough. Which Marvin does. Which would seem to be a hugely bad thing, but of course goes unmentioned forever.

Undaunted, Daffy dares him to blow up some distant stars and after another salvo the sky is completely dark. Of course that’s not even close to how starlight works, but I’m tempted to overlook that one. Partly because I’m watching a show about cartoon animals (if not cartoon universe physics), but also because, holy crap, it’s our first credible villain of the season. How’d one of those get in here?

And for all the bashing I do to the other Loonatics, I’m not going to ignore that Daffy was a complete idiot here and a catastrophe of galactic proportions has just taken place because he shot his mouth off at the villain. Who knows how many millions of lives, thousands of years of civilization, were just wiped out in an instant? This time, I admit I see him as the show wants me to see him. Dude, what the HELL????

Then again, this is the exceptionally toothless breed of American action cartoon. There was probably nothing there to destroy. The show certainly doesn’t act like anything happened except the night sky’s slightly less pleasant to behold. All anybody says about this, now or ever, is Bugs going, “Let’s not get carried away, Duck. Leave something that twinkles up there.”

“Maybe I should do the talking?” Lexi interrupts. “I mean, I am the one who caused this.” Yeah, you really are, aren’t you? Sure Roadrunner started playing around with the doohickeys first, but who’s dumber, the fool or the fool who follows? Seriously, these guys who are happy to ignore (apparently repeated) warnings from the super-genius that his inventions aren’t toys are supposed to be the planet’s first line of defense.

But let’s not withhold blame; this same super-genius doesn’t think his teammates need anything more than a stern warning to stop playing with this stuff. How inventing a really good lock or two?

She brings up how she thought she was playing a game, and Marvin remarks he’s something of a gamer himself but being a member of the feared Martian race, finds it hard to find anyone willing to play against him. So he’ll spare Acmetropolis if she’ll come aboard his ship and be his opponent from now on.

Bugs reacts badly to this, saying nobody’s taking Lexi anywhere, but Daffy cuts him off and urges him to reconsider. I get it, Daffy’s supposed to come off as a craven little coward thinking only about his own skin.

He’s still right.

Superheroes are supposed to be loyal to their teammates, but they’re also supposed to be self-sacrificing and own up to their mistakes. Frankly, playing checkers with an alien as recompense for blowing up all his stuff is getting off easy. Especially if the alternative is Marvin shrinking the entire planet and hanging it from his dining room ceiling, which it is. He gives them 24 hours to reach a decision.

Bugs tries to get a solution out of Wile E., who thanks to his Plot Convenience Sensors answers that Martian technology is far beyond even him, and Marvin’s ship produces energy something on the magnitude of a trillion times the power of all Acmetropolis put together. The best they can hope for is to hold Marvin at bay for a while. Nonetheless, Bugs is so determined to ignore good sense he declares, “Well, we got no choice. If Tiny wants a war, we’ll give him a war.”

It's like Wile E. knows this is a bad idea but knows what'll happen to him for contradicting Bugs...

That's it. They don't get with Zadavia to try to find some other way out of this, or even try to call Marvin back and try to parley, admit they did a bad thing to him and try to work things out without giving up their friend or their planet. Just, "he wants our friend, he's going to have to fight for her. Even though it, is in fact, all her fault he's threatening to destroy our civilization. And all the innocent people of Acmetropolis will pay the price for our folly if we can't beat him." These guys? Superheroes?? I don't think so.
How many times have you heard a hero say “Let these people go! Take me instead!” What a bunch of maroons, huh? Even though Wile E. just said a fight’s a foregone conclusion, Bugs is seriously saying, “To hell with the world! The Loonatics look out for number one!”

If Daffy had launched the missiles, none of the Loonatics would be letting him forget it.

Especially Lexi…

But Lexi actually agrees with Daffy. This is her fault, she should own up to it and accept the consequences. She says she feels like Helen of Troy, and then goes on to explain how her incomparable beauty caused a massive war. Well, technically it was Eris, goddess of fucking with people, and Paris’s hormones when offered power, wisdom or the love of the world’s most beautiful woman…and way to torpedo your sympathy for this gesture with that comparison.

Comically Roadrunner tries to shoulder the blame for poking around Wile E.’s stuff, and Wile E. tries to shoulder the blame for inventing the weapon. How about shouldering the blame for just not locking the door?

Marvin’s deadline runs out and he sends a bunch of robo-thingies that start shrinking buildings and military units that try to stop them. Wile E. raises a planetary force field, but it’s only a temporary solution because as he said, Marvin has way more power than them and can easily outlast them.

Wile E. trots out his molecular reconstructor, which you might remember from “The Family Business,” except now it’s way bigger and eats up way more power, so while it could theoretically restore the shrunken stuff, actually using it for that purpose could prove problematic. And he’s not concerning himself with stopping Marvin’s forces first before coming up with a reversal process because shut the hell up. Bugs continues to remain defiant that Marvin’s not getting one over on them.

And what's THAT? Why don't they turn around and shrink the buildings behind them?

Everyone falls asleep around the meeting table and wakes up to the Martian forces pulling out. Bugs can’t comprehend why they would until the Loonatics find a message from Lexi that she’s taking Marvin up on his offer.

“Why would she do that?!” Ace demands. Maybe because she’s facing up to her mistake and it’s the only way to save the planet what with how all of your guys’ job are superheroes, ya long-eared lunkhead. In the last Loonatics article I speculated that the real reason they’re seen as heroes is the public doesn’t find out the details of how they actually defeated the villains and learns it’s mainly a contest of who’s more incompetent. Something tells me a highly sanitized account of this one’s going to be what makes the papers too.

Lexi left a P.S. that Daffy was right when he said it’s better for one person to sacrifice themselves than for everyone to suffer. And I swear I’m not kidding, the rest of the Loonatics are mad as all hell at him for putting that idea in Lexi’s head. FUCK YOU GUYS!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SHOW??!

Look, superheroes are supposed to stand by their teammates. Yeah, great, good for them. But first and foremost they're supposed to look out for ordinary people who can't defend themselves from supervillains and alien warlords. Lexi is doing that by offering herself up so Marvin won't destroy the planet, and the other Loonatics are wiping their asses with that by insisting on battling it out with a far superior foe, the hell with all the regular people, when it's Lexi's fault Marvin is threatening all those people to begin with.

But no, they have to go get Lexi back, even though this was her decision, and it’s before they’ve seen any evidence that Marvin has no intention of living up to his side of the bargain (Because I won't let you forget, the Loonatics started this, and they're the ones who never tried to be diplomatic or make a deal with the guy. Just met his threat with a threat of their own). In fact if Marvin realizes what they’re up to, and he probably will when he finds out Lexi’s gone, all this is going to do is antagonize him and make him do something even worse. Good one, Bugs. You know, if he’s supposed to be willing to do something this ill-advised because he and Lexi are interested in each other, as is kinda-sorta implied a few times, maybe they should’ve done more than kinda-sorta imply that before

Remember Lexi’s stupid and vainglorious comparison of herself to Helen of Troy? The Loonatics latch onto that and build a big robot horse and hide inside to sneak into Marvin’s impenetrable battleship. And this probably only works because his stupid robot dog’s the only one around when they try it.

Although it’s kind of satisfying with how the horse doesn’t fit through the hangar doors and they get bashed around before it gets turned sideways. Meanwhile Lexi’s playing Marvin at some kind of giant version of checkers. They don’t bother to explain how the game works, but they do explain that Marvin’s a cheater.

While the Loonatics search the ship it turns out the shrink-bots have returned, and the captured pieces in Marvin’s game determine what parts of Acmetropolis get shrunk. This lets Bugs tell Wile E. where to project the force field to keep more buildings from shrinking, although it doesn’t actually get rid of the shrink-bots so he’s not accomplishing anything besides cutting down on how much cleanup they’ll have to do later.

To address the morality of the Loonatics’ actions in this episode, it’s okay for an honorable character to ignore a deal when he knows his less-than-honorable opponent is ignoring it too. Now it’s okay for them to go on the offensive since they know Marvin’s a lying POS, but oh no, they had to put all Acmetropolis at hopeless risk just to have Lexi around when the planet became a ceiling decoration before.

Then again, Bugs really isn’t that honorable, is he?

Roadrunner finds Marvin’s mondo-super power generator thingy, which is on the bridge of the ship for easy access by meddling heroes, and teleports it to Loonatics HQ. With Marvin’s power source taken care of the Loonatics plot their escape, only to find out the thrusters on their horse-ship got smashed when they were being reeled in. Oh no, they’re trapped! Wait, no they aren’t because there are plenty of ships there they can steal to make their getaway and always were! Holy shit, that mattered!

Marvin sees the Loonatics on the security cam, realizes he’s been trick and puts the ship on red alert. “Something tells me that’s not the welcoming party,” Bugs hilariously observes. He orders his magic sword into defend configuration, which is somehow accomplished by projecting parts of the blade outward and covers his friends by deflecting lasers with it while they run.

And this scene’s really annoying to watch because the entire screen goes red every time a laser fires, and lasers fire A LOT. It’s like the most aggravating dance club lightshow ever.

These are...

...seriously not...

...all the same screencap.

Marvin still has functional security systems after the Loonatics stole his power thingy?

Marvin shows up then and they decide the episode really needs some of the old-style humor. Because you can go right from a scene about fighting off laser turrets to a semi-lengthy humorous dialogue exchange without any bumps. Not that this show’s any proof.

Marvin says intruders make him so angry. Bugs asks, “What’s up, doc?” Marvin tries to force Bugs to take an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Yes, Marvin really tries to force Bugs to take something he knows is going to explode. The reason Bugs took it in the old cartoons was because Marvin was going to blow up Earth if Bugs didn't take it. Bugs refuses, Marvin tries, Bugs refuses, Marvin tries, Bugs pulls the old switcheroo and agrees to takes it, Marvin takes it back, and Bugs lets him have it. Literally.

And I really can't find this funny because once again, this whole mess is the Loonatics' own fault.

The Loonatics get away and with Marvin’s stolen power core Wile E.’s able to restore all the shrunken buildings. Which is still just curing the symptoms, because Marvin’s still there and now he’s even angrier, firing on Acmetropolis with a salvo of missiles. Lexi uses the game/weapon controller thingy to shoot down the missiles and then Marvin’s ship itself which suddenly isn’t so unassailable after all. Could they have been a little more clear about this, please? Like it had a really good force field that doesn't work now because the Loonatics stole the main power system (Evidently not the only one)?

He flies away in a little space chariot before it blows up. Guess we aren’t meant to think about all the other shrunken planets we saw in Marvin’s collection before, but after the rest of this episode that doesn’t surprise me a bit.


The Loonatics cheer Lexi’s mad Asteroids skillz, but considering the episode wouldn’t have happened in the first place without those, it smacks of covering a hole with a poster.

Our anemic end-of-show humor comes from Roadrunner promising never to play with Wile E.’s inventions again, and then immediately seeing a button he can’t resist pushing. One Wile E. put there specifically for that purpose, as it drops a cage on the fast-talking hooligan. As Marvin flies away to plot anew, he comments on the blackness of space and wishes he’d spared some stars to see by. Those wacky space invaders!

I understand this wasn’t the best of reviews. I only had one big complaint, but seriously, this episode wants me to think the Loonatics are the victims, when all they do is turn everyone under their protection into a victim. I don't care if it was an accident or not, initiating a god damned missile strike is not something that just gets you a slap on the wrist. Period.

Can't help but notice how conspicuous Zadavia is with her absence during a full-scale invasion of the planet, too. Would've really liked to hear her take on Bugs's alien relation policies.

In a way having only one major complaint against an episode is kind of a mark of distinction in and of itself considering what show this is. On the other hand, the first truly dangerous-seeming villain of the series is Marvin the Martian, and he only seems that way because of all the ordinance he’s packing. Furthermore, it’s all downhill from here, since there’s only one episode to go before the three-part season finale. And who’s the only A-list Looney Tunes character we haven’t seen?

Yup, that's right...

Friday, October 4, 2013

Loonatics Unleashed – The Hunter (Snark)

Here we go. Of all the unwieldy things this show chose to adapt into its new format, the one at the core of this episode is probably the worst. And from the title I bet you already know what it is.

Seems the good people of Acmetropolis are still trying to make up their minds about where to put their worst criminals, as now we see the “Acmetropolis Intergalactic Prison Ship.” Massive (remember him?) breaks out of his cell, commandeers a ship, and flies to the nearest museum to start robbing it. Guy doesn’t waste any time, you gotta hand that to him. 

By the way, they didn’t get Michael Clarke Duncan to come back to voice Massive again. Instead he’s vocalized by another black man with three names, Kevin Michael Richardson, who voices Taz and Wile E.

Incidentally, both actors would go on to voice this guy.

Funny how that works out.

The Loonatics (sans Lexi and Roadrunner) are quickly on the scene, with Bugs thinking it’s strange. “I never knew Massive had a taste for art.” Daffy replies with “When you’re that big, you pretty much have a taste for anything,” which I think might be a joke. No matter how you slice it, though, that’s an idiotic thing for Bugs to say. Massive was interested in stealing anything valuable enough, and yes, we did see him steal a large objet d’art in his debut episode. The asset for which was recycled in this very episode, in fact.


As in his previous solo appearance, Massive’s combination of control over gravity and nigh-invulnerability soon has him mopping the floor with Taz, Daffy and Wile E., leaving Bugs to quip, “Well Mr. Big-and-Tall, looks like it’s just you and me!” He must be shaking in his boots, knowing full well you can’t hurt him at all either.

Oh, but the real draw’s a figure in a mech suit who decloaks on a nearby rooftop. If the coloration and oversized gun don’t suggest anything, the wearer’s voice will.

Yeah, this is the episode with Elmer Fudd.

Lord have mercy on us all.

Fudd sets his gun to “rabbit,” which might be a throwback to that one short where Wile E. invented a flying saucer that homes in to whatever animal its dial points to, but I don’t know. It ends up shooting a tranquilizer dart anyway, one that looks like a big plunger yet, and why is that suited specially for rabbits? He ends up hitting Daffy in the butt with it as the combatants zoom around, knocking him into Bugs and letting Massive get away with his loot.

Was he hunting Tweety before?

He’s unable to get off another shot at Bugs because he’s behind a statue and apparently hunters aren’t allowed to move to get a better shot.

Bugs and Daffy are on the prison ship next scene to look into Massive’s escape, apparently, but spare some time for a little boring banter with another old foe.

Thanks for the establishing caption. Again. Go ahead, scroll up.

Otto the Odd: “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Loser-tics. What brings you to the slammer?”
Bugs: “Otto the Odd. Always nice to see an unfriendly face. Locked away, where it belongs.”
Otto the Odd: “<laughs> I missed you too. Maybe we can exchange e-mails. You can add me to your buddy list.”
Daffy: “More like add you to my ‘odd little bugs to stomp on’ list. Ha ha, that’s a good one.”

Painfully lame as always. Really though, if the company wanted this project to succeed, maybe they not only should’ve made up their minds what it was but hired halfway-decent writers. Weird they’d go to all the trouble to get Dee Bradley Baker back in the booth for a lame throwaway scene like that, too. Were they that hard up for runtime?

The prison uses electrified bars on its cells, leading to Daffy “comically” getting zapped on them. I have to ask, why are they still on if the cell’s empty? Not only that, but when the bars are completely torn apart and couldn’t keep my grandma confined.

Having achieved nothing except getting Daffy hurt, the Loonatics head home. Bugs watches the news and hears that renowned artist Scooter Bullock’s disappeared, along with several of his most famous paintings. “Can’t be a coincidence. An artist goes missing and then several of his paintings are snatched.” Well, not in a TV show it can’t, no.

Fudd’s around looking to nab Bugs again (Where his prey has the home court advantage, all kinds of high-tech defense systems and a bunch of superpowered backup. You and I know neither of the latter rates much, but the show wants us to believe it does). Daffy tries to get a snack, Taz tries to steal Daffy’s snack, and there’s so much noise it makes Fudd fall off the side of the building before he can take another shot at Bugs. You see what I mean about nothing having changed with the comic relief villains even with the genre switch? Oh, but wait, it gets better.

They turn on their Plot Convenience Monitoring System to see Massive robbing another museum, this being a “Western” one which Bugs helpfully explains belongs a singing space cowboy named Hoppalong Chiron and his robo-horse, Thunder. Yeah, he says that like the horse is a part-owner too.

Thanks for thinking we wouldn't notice, Oh Great Leader. And never mind how if you look hard you can see Taz and Roadrunner in the recycled launch footage before this part...

Bugs’s above plan seems even dumber since, upon checking in to see if the monitor crew’s got a lead on Massive, Taz hasn’t been paying attention at all and only stuffing his face, and belches into the mic in answer. “You don’t say,” Bugs wittily replies. Hey dumbass, you’re the one who handpicked him for the job. And it’s not as if the team member with the most inherent firepower might be someone it’d be a good idea to have around when you’re going face-to-face with a nigh-indestructible gravity-manipulator.

Carrot-chomping moron.

Fudd’s on hand, but while sneaking around invisibly he bumps into Daffy. I’m calling out these blunders of his because the show’s going to feed us probably the biggest bit of Take Our Word For It nonsense in its entire run. Just wait.

Massive steals the aforementioned robo-horse, which apparently was an exhibit and not part-owner after all. Bugs pulls a gun on him for some reason. You might think it thematically appropriate, a showdown in a Western-themed museum and all. But nothing happens around that and nothing’s said to that effect (Actually, the gun looks to be the one Wile E. came up with to neutralize Massive’s powers in his first appearance. The one they ended up not using on him. Good on him for bringing it, but with all the other stupid shit they point out in this episode, would a quick reminder what that gun’s for be asking too much?).

All that happens is Daffy teleports in front of Bugs and blocks the bolas Fudd had meant for Senor Long Ears. Fudd bumps a chandelier while distortedly jumping to a walkway to flee, and Massive gets away by blowing the roof off the building. Fudd flies away bragging nothing gets away from him, the greatest hunter in the universe!

Bugs asks Wile E. if he’s found anything that can give them a lead, and indeed he has. Somehow, don’t ask how because I’ll ignore you, he found a hair on Daffy that doesn’t belong to any of the Loonatics. And by using his comic book science, he’s able to find out it belongs to…Electro J. Fudd!

Pretty good trick since like his progenitor, he’s bald.

Daffy’s rightly unimpressed by Fudd, but Lexi shuts him up. The Fudds have been a line of “great hunters since the beginning of time.” And in case you need me to point it out, that’s the big steaming gob of nonsense I mentioned before.

This is about the one and only time they try to directly link this show, in-show, to the original property. With this junk about the Fudds being a dynasty of master hunters. Say it with me guys, ha ha, no. Elmer pulled off like two wins in all of Looney Tunes history (there was “Rabbit Rampage” and “Hare Brush,” and that’s it, I think. I could count “What’s Opera, Doc?” but he feels bad about it, so…I don’t know). Even in the version of history they show, its examples consist of a Fudd being distracted by some cute, harmless thing while something much bigger and meaner which according to Lexi killed him seconds after the picture was taken is right behind him, completely unnoticed. One of whom’s a caveman.

I almost feel like I’m watching Trigun again, where everyone has heard Vash the Stampede's basically the Devil incarnate with the power to leave entire cities smoldering in his wake. But when we meet him, he’s actually this gigantic loser who doesn’t want to hurt anyone (even if the stories about the destruction he’s capable of aren’t exaggerated).

But Lexi’s idiotic little slideshow isn’t supposed to be revealing the truth behind the legend, it’s supposed to be reinforcing Fudd’s boast after his latest failure that he’s the greatest hunter in the universe. What could I possibly say to that? What better proof could I possibly give of how epically stupid this show is?

I suppose there’s how when the alarm goes off at a cookie factory, Bugs whips out his Batmanesque Detective Skills™ once again and opines “I have a feeling when we find Massive, we’ll find Fudd.” What piercing insight, as there was nothing whatever to indicate he was there the last two times…oh wait, between Daffy suddenly being tranqed and Bugs noticing someone cloaked Predator-style fleeing the scene of Massive’s last robbery, yeah there definitely was.

The team arrives at the cookie factory and indeed Massive’s there, and uses his powers to bombard the Loonatics with the cookies. Taz is up to the challenge and starts gobbling them out of the air. It doesn’t even look like the other cookies are hitting him even if they could do any damage. In fact even though he’s standing right in the middle of them, he has to actually reach out and grab them to get them into his mouth.

A fight proper breaks out and Bugs actually is knocked on his butt by a big wad of cookies. Yes, really. Roadrunner spins Massive around really fast, and Daffy’s accidentally knocked onto a hook that carries him by Fudd and knocks him into a vat of cookie dough just before he tries to take another shot at Bugs.

Wile E. shoots Massive with that gun meant to nullify his powers, but instead it makes him explode; he was really a robot lookalike. Deep breaths, Star. Deep breaths. Wile E. spouts off that the robot’s CPU can probably give them some clues, and Bugs tells him to take the robot’s CPU and see if it can give them some clues. Which he clearly had no intention of doing before being told that.

The Loonatics do some digging and find out that the greatest artist, singing space cowboy and cookie chef in the world were all kidnapped around the same time. The writers still trying desperately to convince us to believe what they say, Lexi asks, “What’s the connection between a great hunter like Fudd, and a rampaging robot?”

Those Batmanesque Detective Skills™ go to work again as Bugs figures that with all these top creative types disappearing, Fudd might be collecting them, and the reason he’s been using a decoy of Massive is to lure out and capture the greatest crime fighter too. Daffy immediately says that’d have to be him, but Lexi says that’d have to be Bugs. Look, she probably doesn’t know this for sure yet, but Fudd would’ve nailed her nominee for greatest hero every time if Daffy hadn’t screwed him up without even trying. STOP TELLING ME HOW AWESOME THESE CHARACTERS ARE WHEN THEY’RE SO FORKING NOT.

In fact, let’s just take a look at some of Bugs’s greatest hits, why don’t we?

I’m all for making a hero flawed so he doesn’t become a boring all-powerful god, but if you’re going to call one character incompetent, and another hyper-competent, there needs to actually be a contrast.

But as to Fudd’s intentions, he’s decided that because Daffy’s inadvertently foiled every one of his attempts on Bugs, the water fowl must be the real greatest hero and changes targets.

They do in fact go with the laughable logic that Bugs is Fudd’s target and use him as bait in a trap. “Isn’t this pretty risky?” Lexi asks. Isn’t that something you knew when you agreed to put on the tights? I don’t know, since they never showed how the Loonatics became a team and never will. You’d hope it’d go without saying, though.

Daffy sulks elsewhere at this nonsense about who’s the best hero, and the other Loonatics prove so wrapped up in their delusion of Bugs’s awesomeness nobody’s around to help out when Fudd traps Daffy in a power net.

Pleasant dreams tonight, kids.

Fudd blasts off, taking Daffy to the orbital prison (and he’s okay without any kind of pressure suit)…

…and after entering a secret room introduces Daffy to his boss, Otto the Odd!

Why do the bars only raise high enough for Daffy, and make Fudd duck to get under them?

You lazy pieces of crap! You’re playing the secret mastermind card with this character again??? It worked so well they just had to use it again?!

Rage aside, it turns out Otto’s taken over the prison and has himself a private little sanctum full of priceless art treasures. More than that, it’s also where he’s put several people in stasis as part of the ultimate collection: people. The greatest artist, cookie chef, and singing space cowboy of all time, as previously mentioned, as well as the greatest clown. I’m a little surprised Otto doesn’t claim that honor for himself, but maybe that’s because he’d have to freeze himself and put himself in his collection.

The greatest artist of all time.

Maybe not, though, since he describes himself as the greatest showman of all time, which goes along so well with how he doesn’t appear to be showing any of this off. How convenient all of these people who are the greatest in their field ever are alive now, too, so Otto’s efforts don’t have to involve anything like grave robbing or cloning.

Anyway, Otto was indeed saving the space for greatest hero of all time, to which end he hired Fudd. Daffy does have a spot in Otto’s collection of people, but it’s as the greatest screw-up hero of all time. The greatest hero of all time spot’s reserved for Bugs, because yeah, sure he is.

Maybe it’s all in the way the news of the Loonatics’ battles with the forces of evil gets out, that people don’t know the real reason for their continued success is the villains’ incompetence eclipsing the Loonatics’ own (this season more than ever). But there’s no way I’m giving a show like this that kind of credit, and no way I’m acknowledging the Loonatics as any good at what they do. That only leaves me with assuming there’s a very small pool of candidates, or that when Otto says “of all time” he means “of our time.”

Otto reveals he’s actually adding them both to his collection since Fudd’s the greatest hunter! Even sticking to the show’s precepts, isn’t that a little doubtful by now? He only succeeded in capturing the greatest screw-up hero of all time, and has bad enough judgment in his prey to mistake Daffy for the just plain greatest hero. And throughout this scene, Otto’s been making fun of Fudd’s speech impediment by copying it himself. Make of that what you will.

Do I even want to know?

He’s not even waiting until Fudd’s used his unparalleled hunting skills and captured the one member of this menagerie who can put up a fight, either. Otto’s going to freeze him and add him to the collection right now, “right next to [Daffy], your greatest conquest.” Is Otto getting rid of Fudd because he’s not in fact that great? Wouldn’t he not belong in the collection, then? None of this makes any freaking sense.

They hide and Otto chases them around, and it might be possible for a chunky midget in a jester suit riding a unicycle to be scary, but this one isn’t. Otto gets Fudd with his freeze ray, but he and Daffy still manage to escape by abandoning Fudd’s mech-suit. Which apparently doesn’t have any weapons they could be using right about now.

Bugs shows up then and disarms Otto with his stupid eye lasers. And with his Batmanesque Detective Skills™, Bugs already figured out everything that’s going on, since Otto’s the “greatest collector of all time.” And when were we supposed to have found that out about the character? Unless that’s what he was supposed to be doing with turning random kids into mixed-up mutants--and how the hell could that count as what he’s doing now—never. There’s being a good deductive thinker who pieces things together from various clues, and then there’s just magically gifting the characters with knowledge of the true plot. This is even worse than “Cape Duck” where Bugs figured out the Slasher in jail was a phony from the color of his toothbrush.

It does him no good, as Otto only lost his handheld freeze ray, and had a much bigger floating freeze the whole time. Which he uses to freeze Bugs. But then Bugs suddenly cracks open, revealing he’s nothing but a…<writer quivers with barely suppressed rage> robot double.

Knew that guy's jokes were too lame for him to be real.

Hey, writers? I have a question! If that’s what Otto’s freeze ray does to mechanical contraptions, why didn’t that happen to Fudd’s mech-suit?

Bugs and the other Loonatics burst in through a crawl space that’s behind one of Otto’s paintings for some reason (the painting even flips closed again once they’re all through), Bugs quipping he’s sorry for being late but they couldn’t find a parking spot. No wonder Otto wants him, he’s the greatest comedian of all time too.

Wile E. puts a power net over Otto…who was anticipating this and he was really a robot double too. Before he can freeze the real Loonatics, he manages to completely forget he didn’t catch Fudd and Daffy, who knocks Otto into the path of his own freeze ray with a power egg.

The other Loonatics congratulate Daffy for saving the day, and it’s absolutely adorable how they almost seem to be acting as if this is out of the ordinary for him. Yes he’s an overbearing, egotistical jerk, but he still manages to achieve positive results more often than the show acts like.

Fudd’s arrested, Otto’s captives are freed, and Daffy’s zapped by the freeze ray as we fade to credits because that’s a quick and easy joke to close on.

Up your cottontail, Bugs.

You guessed already, but I hate this episode. I hate the whole show, obviously, but this one’s the very embodiment of the worst sin a writer can commit. Show me, don’t tell me. Along with that, it suffers more than most for the even greater genre confusion brought on by the second season. You know, how they still wanted it to work as a superhero show and new direction for the property, while trying to bring back the zany humor people equate with Looney Tunes, and never figuring out how to strike an effective balance.

Since this article spends so much time dwelling on the subject of who’s the best hero, maybe you’d like the chance to prove you’re the best.

You could hardly do any worse than these clownbags.