Friday, December 10, 2010

Twilight Chapter 11: Complications

1. They’re watching a video in Biology class, so Bella takes that as permission to ignore the lesson even more than usual to focus on Edward. Which is a lot easier since he’s sitting there next to her. All I’ll say is Meyer really needed to find another word than “electricity” to describe the feeling Bella gets around him.

2. Mike and Bella pair up in gym class, because he’s actually a nice person. Mike asks her to be careful around Edward, and notes he looks at her like she’s something to eat. She giggles at this, maybe because she knows the danger of Edward actually doing so is as laughable as anyone reading the book.

This giggling also irritates Mike, really making you wonder what the attraction is with her if she has that effect while interacting with any boy, and not just Edward.

3. Or what the attraction is with Edward as he was psychically eavesdropping on everyone she talked to again, which irritates Bella. And he’s irritated with her when he has to explain what an M3 is. And when Bella seeks reparations for Edward listening in on her conversations he tries to dodge the pressure she puts on him not to do it again by promising to let her drive on their weekend outing instead. And she takes him up on it since it’s the best she’ll get. And we’re to believe this is love.

4. While we’re on the subject of their relationship, over breakfast our lovable heroine shows some sympathy for her dad, especially the predicament of worrying about her meeting a boy she liked, but also worrying if she didn’t. “How ghastly it would be, I thought, shuddering, if Charlie had any inkling of exactly what I did like.” Wonder what exactly she means by that, although it’s true no caring father would want his daughter to go out with a boy like Edward.

Not long after dad goes to work, Edward shows up to take her to school. “I bounded down the stairs and out the front door, wondering how long this bizarre routine would continue. And I never wanted it to end.” See you on Jerry Springer in a few years, Bella.

5. During the day Edward starts to pelt Bella with questions about every little thing, and rather than go into detail and give us some insight into Bella’s personality, the bulk of rest of the chapter is Bella saying she sat there talking for hours. SDT, Meyer!

The only part we actually hear is when he asks about Bella’s favorite color. It used to be brown, because Phoenix is brown. Now it’s topaz, because that’s the color of Edward’s eyes. And he “commanded” her to answer the question after she was too embarrassed to tell him.

6. They meet again after school to have another probing conversation that we apparently  didn’t need to hear, except for how Bella likes her some Phoenix. This one lasts so long it only stops when Edward points out it’s title drop. I mean, twilight.

He says it’s the safest time of day for vampires, but Meyer’s going to make you sit through yet another rambling chapter to get to her groan-worthy explanation of that statement.

7. After amusedly denying Bella’s appeal to run question day next, Edward takes off because the Swan household’s about to have another visitor. Two, in fact: Jacob and his dad, Billy.

This worries Bella, as it’s probably not just a friendly visit: “Billy still stared at me with intense, anxious eyes. I groaned internally. Had Billy recognized Edward so easily? Could he really believe the impossible legends his son had scoffed at? The answer was clear in Billy’s eyes. Yes. Yes, he could.”

And why the heck not? They happen to be true, and the Cullens do a terrible job of covering it up. Even Bella thinks so, and even if she was joking it’s still the truth. Let’s face it, something’s probably up with the kids who never eat a bite and have never once been in school on a sunny day.

I’m not saying anyone’s who different is automatically dangerous (just look at the things that interest me), but the fact is the Cullens are a different species, one that naturally preys on humans as Edward constantly tries to warn Bella. And their efforts to keep people from noticing are so pitiful the only other conclusion I can think to draw is everyone actually knows they’re vampires, but don’t let it slip or perform a mass exodus for fear of the Cullens killing them to preserve the family’s “secrecy.”

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