1. Edward shows up in the morning to give Bella a ride to school, and yet he’s still hoping she’ll see the wisdom of staying away. “It was a vain hope.” We know that. He knows that. Everyone who’s ever read a book knows that. And he’s the one continually encouraging the contact between the two of them like this. Stop it, Meyer. If this is going to be an obstacle to their relationship, let it be one already. If it isn’t, stop blowing all this hot air.
I guess it sort of is in New Moon, but that’s because of Edward’s tendency to take the most extreme response when he gets emotional. Bella gets a cut, one of the other vampire kids attacks her, and immediately Edward is all “OMG we have to leave Forks and never come back for Bella’s sake!” Instead of thinking maybe this can still work if they come up with some safeguards or stop dragging Bella around like a pet. She’s the one who didn’t want the birthday party where she almost got chomped, and they’re the ones who forced her to come. And yet in the end they’re back together, still with no safeguards and Edward still treating Bella like a talking doll. And the vampire heat’s keeping an eye on them.
2. Edward’s surprised at not having questions hammered at him. Not because of all the questions, but the way Bella reacts to the answers. “You take everything so coolly — it’s unnatural. It makes me wonder what you’re really thinking.” About his perfect pale countenance, and nothing else.
3. The other Cullen kids pull up in a “glossy” red convertible. Generally they take the Volvo since “We try to blend in.” On the same wavelength as me, Bella notes they don’t succeed. Is that a backhand to the people of actually-exists Forks, Washington? The ones who don’t notice all the weird things about these punks? Meyer had never even been there before she wrote the books.
Why drive cars like that if they’re aiming for secrecy? “An indulgence. We all like to drive fast.” They’ll be teenagers forever–no offense to anyone but not a group known for restraint–and their father is basically a font of unlimited wealth. Between the cars, the clothes and no need to worry about their spending money as evidenced by what Edward was like in the restaurant, they seem to indulge themselves a lot. Certainly more than advisable for people trying to keep a low profile in a small town.
4. The other students wonder if Bella and Edward are going out and for the sake of convenience, he gives her permission to say they are. He’s so casual about it, it feels like he’s more amused by this than anything, and just wants to see how gullible these people are.
Edward promises to be listening in on her “friends’” thoughts to find out how Bella feels about him, leaving her “flustered and irritated.” Sets the stage perfectly for their relationship.
5. Say hi to Mike again, everybody. “He had an odd, almost resigned look on his face.” Is she still trying to figure him out? He asked her out point blank. He was one of three guys who asked her if she was going to ask them to the girl’s choice dance. And today she got a ride to school with the gorgeous Edward Cullen. Who even gave Bella permission to say they’re going out. Mike likes her but is down because he realizes he doesn’t have a chance with her. Why is that so obvious to me but not Bella? I was never in advanced placement. On the other hand, I had friends in high school. Who I interacted with.
6. Jessica corners Bella to ask about the previous night, and Bella answers that yeah, Edward’s pretty awesome, and yeah, they’re sort of going out. Because it can never be mentioned enough, Jessica points out Edward’s incredibly gorgeous. “Jessica shrugged as if this excused any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.”
Bwah-ha-ha-ha! It got Bella to forgive the fact that he's a threat to her continued existence. Don’t you dare have her look down on somebody for being shallow, Meyer. And don’t anybody else try to tell me their attraction’s more than physical.
7. Bella might not be sitting with her “friends” (yes I intend to put quotations around that word every time until Bella means it) at lunch, but then again she might if Edward were to “disappear inconveniently again.” Well sooooooo-rry. It’s not as if he lives in a world removed from hers.
8. All’s right with the universe Edward is at lunch. When Bella points out she couldn’t possibly eat all the food he gets, he points out half is for him. I’d say she’s being slow, but Edward’s the one expecting people to notice he has food but not that he throws it away without eating a bite. And what happened to that chiding behavior when it comes to being wasteful? Was he just being an arrogant jerk then too?
Edward was indeed listening in on Jessica’s thoughts and heard something he didn’t like. “I do want to know what you’re thinking — everything. I just wish…that you wouldn’t be thinking some things.” He even wants to set limits on what she thinks, and I can’t duck the feeling he’d try to if his power was more than just knowing what people are thinking.
And if it didn’t turn out Bella’s immune to vampire powers…
9. What did Bella say that upset our hero so much? That she’s afraid she cares more about Edward than the other way around. She must. After all, she’s so ordinary and he’s so…Edward. That’s Bella’s thought on the matter, not mine.
Meyer gets even worse about what a Mary Sue our heroine is when Edward refutes her claims about being ordinary. He was listening in on the thoughts of every guy in school the first day, you see. No way could Bella be a Sue! Why, she’s so humble all she can see about herself is the bad stuff! Which Edward’s all too happy to confirm: “I’ll admit you’re dead-on about the bad things.”
Of course Edward’s still in charge and states he cares the most out of the two of them, because if leaving her alone would protect her, he’d do it even though it would be painful to him. Funny how when he actually does do that with that intent, it destroys her life. Because he is her life. Contrary to how the books try to treat the matter, that’s not a sign of a healthy psyche.
I’d heard all the frankly alarming things Meyer seems to consider romantic, but really, what are the positives in this relationship besides “my partner’s gorgeous”? Only Edward seems to be doing it on purpose but their relationship has mainly consisted of them getting on each other’s nerves. Edward even admits he gave Tyler the chance to ask her out on purpose because he wanted to see the look on her face. He doesn’t admit that somewhere else, he admits that here where he’s saying he’s the one who cares more for his relationship partner. Did I miss the part where they realize their personalities are actually compatible after all? That would require them to have personalities.
Worst of all is this thought: “If I had to, I supposed I could purposefully put myself in danger to keep him close,” and “now I wanted him to be expecting disasters.” What. The. HELL, Meyer? Page 211, read it yourself.
10. Bella asks if Edward was hunting the weekend she went to La Push, and notes bears aren’t in season (why would she know that?). Edward counters the law only covers hunting with weapons, and “He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.” So yeah, he enjoys being powerful and one step ahead. Is that really supposed to be a positive in their relationship?
What’s really sad is that it’s so easy for him. Bella says she can’t imagine him hunting without weapons, having evidently forgotten the van incident. Know how Superman doesn’t carry a gun? Maybe he doesn’t need one.
She even asks if she can watch Edward feed sometime, even though he’s warned her he has enough trouble staying in control around her when he’s not hungry. That’s not being enamored of Edward, that’s being dumb.
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