1. They get to Bella’s house, and Emmett, one of Edward’s brothers, vanishes into the darkness to scout the perimeter. Bella finds his absence “anguishing,” since she doesn’t know when she’ll see him again, has known him for maybe a day, and hardly got to know him at all in that span of time. Too little, too late.
Bella gears up for her tearful tirade where she tells Charlie she’s going home to Phoenix. “This wasn’t going to be pleasant.” Why can’t I shake the feeling she was going to enjoy it though, the standoffish little brat?
2. As she goes in Bella assures Edward “I love you. I will always love you, no matter what happens now.” Because they like a few of the same musicians.
Bella also adds “Keep Charlie safe for me. He’s not going to like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize later.” Whoa that’s kinda out of left field. Since when does she not resent him for trying to be a good father? Or is this to make it seem like she appreciates her dad in front of Edward so he’ll be more likely to invite her to become part of his family?
3. Bella spends about two pages doing what she does best, which is whining and crying when the world doesn’t revolve around her. Charlie tries to get her to calm down and help her out, but now that it’s part of the plan Bella has even less motivation to listen to his attempts to be a good parent than usual. Forgive me for not going into more detail, I’m sick of listening to Bella whine in general. I don’t feel like paying attention when she’s doing it on purpose. I’ll mention Charlie says Bella’s mom’s coming for a visit, because her new husband is having trouble getting signed out in Florida, and if he doesn’t they’ll be moving back to Phoenix.
“ ‘Just let me go, Charlie.’ I repeated my mother’s last words as she’d stalked out this same door so many years ago.” How the hell does Bella know what her mom’s last words were to Charlie when she walked out on him? We don’t see much of Bella’s mom but she doesn’t seem like the type to have started ranting about her worthless ex-husband in front of her beloved daughter. And if she had reservations about Bella moving out to Forks, it was more about the place and the simple fact that darling Bella wouldn’t be around, not that Bella would be living with that waste of oxygen she made the biggest mistake of her life by marrying.
Charlie and Renee’s relationship doesn’t seem nearly venomous enough for Bella to know exactly how their marriage ended. It's not as if Bella would remember. She was a frakking babe in arms when it happened. Although I wouldn’t put it past Meyer to say Bella was some kind of super baby who can actually remember things from her infancy.
4. As Bella leaves and starts the drive back to the Cullens’ place, Edward just switches places with her so that he’s driving. “The truck didn’t swerve an inch.” Because Edward’s perfect.
“ ‘You wouldn’t be able to find the house,’ he explained.” Because it’s impossible for him to trust the girl that he loves with all his unbeating heart and soul, who’s supposedly possessed of a very quick mind, with directions. Did the Cullens build the road to their house so only a vampire could possibly drive down it or something stupid like that?
The vampire kids state that James is following them, in case we forgot the point of everything that just happened. “My plan suddenly didn’t feel so brilliant anymore.” Maybe that’s because it never was.
5. As they drive, Edward jokes that he had no idea she was so bored with Forks. Maybe he was trying to be humorous to calm her down a little, but she replies that she was verbally hitting Charlie below the belt with all seriousness. So what was the point, Meyer?
6. Bella whines about why James would want to hunt her of all people (yeah, yeah), and after saying it sort of is her fault for smelling so good to vampires, Edward finally explains basically what a “tracker” means in regards to vampires. To be completely fair (which, believe it or not, I try to be), it’s what you probably thought. It’s a vampire who lives specifically for the thrill of the hunt, and the fact that Bella’s under the Cullens’ protection only makes her a more tempting target to James.
Edward isn’t happy because their only real option will be to kill James. “Carlisle won’t like it.” And he’s almost an actual character!
When asked how they plan to do that, Edward explains the only way to be sure is to rip James apart and set fire to his remains. So basically vampires are so awesome that the only thing that can kill a vampire is other vampires? Jeez Meyer, could you try to be a little less swept up in your characters’ awesomeness?
7. Bella asks if James is still following them. “Yes. He won’t attack the house, though. Not tonight.” Um, why? There a couple good reasons, but damn it, a decent writer would tell you what they are.
8. Laurent, who was hanging out with our villain James earlier, is already in the Cullens’ house when they get there. He’s trying to get in good with them, though, because James and the other invading vampire are crazy and he was safer pretending to be on their side. He’s too afraid of James to actually help them, and plans to “head north -- to that clan in Denali.”
I thought it was supposed to be really weird that the Cullens are a group of vampires that stay in one place (remember the "honest curiosity"? That was this guy). Now he’s going to head somewhere he knows another group of vampires is living?
Oh, and again Alice doesn’t walk, she dances. And for some reason her eyes flickered “unwillingly” to Bella, even though I thought Alice was supposed to like her and care about keeping her safe for some reason.
9. In a moment that literally made me groan, Edward's mom pushes a button on a keypad and big metal shutters start sealing up the house. Meyer, did you think you were writing a comic book or something? Who installed those? And did they think maybe it wasn’t worth the time and money when they could only realistically stay in Forks for a couple years before people would notice the kids had finished high school, but weren’t going to college or getting jobs and had to move on? Of course not. They've got money for whatever stupid or needlessly extravagant thing they need. Let’s not even get into where Bella and Edward have their honeymoon.
10. In a ploy to distract James, Edward “commanded” Rosalie (the one who doesn’t like Bella) to trade clothes with Bella. She of course doesn’t understand why they’re going to all this trouble over a ninny like Bella (testify, sister). How could Edward not know Rosalie’s the only one who doesn’t like his girlfriend? It’s plenty obvious to me, and I’m not even telepathic. I find it incredibly hard to believe Edward could be so clueless as to ask Rosalie to do something like this even if he’s got enough respect for his foster family not to be reading their minds (something I don't remember Meyer saying one way or the other in the first book).
He asks Esme to trade clothes with Bella instead, and she says yes right away. Why didn’t he just do that in the first place?
Without even waiting for Bella’s acknowledgment, Esme takes her upstairs and trades clothes with her, then the Cullens grab her by the elbows and carry her outside. Which just goes to make her look even less capable of fending for herself in any capacity. Our heroine.
11. Bella realizes “with a stab of fear” that's Edward in the group that's going to be going up against James. Would she have noticed this if Edward wasn’t going out to do the actual fighting? And why exactly isn’t he in the party that’s sheltering his girlfriend? They’re doing this all for her sake, and he’s obsessed with her to the point of sneaking into her bedroom while she’s asleep. Isn’t it likely to affect his game, not having instant access to knowing where she is or if she’s okay? He's not the patient type
12. Alice has one of her visions and sees Victoria, the other evil vampire, following the group with Esme acting as a decoy. They act like this is a sign they should go ahead with their plan. Even though they’re trying to sucker James, not Victoria, and this would seem to indicate they haven't fooled him, because he’s not following the group they want him to follow.
13. Bella’s all sad that the Cullens have to do this on account of stupid old insignificant her, “the tears streaked noiselessly down my face.” Since when do tears make noise at all?
As Alice and her boyfriend Jasper get Bella to take her to supposed safety, Jasper assures Bella that she’s wrong, she’s totally worth all this. He doesn't tell her why that’s the case, of course, because the only answer is she’s the author’s avatar and Meyer says she’s worth it, so she is.
Alice asks if she can carry Bella out to their car, and I’m kind of starting to like her because she’s the only person who doesn’t treat Bella like a talking piece of furniture. Most of the time. Even if that’s what Bella deserves.
No comments:
Post a Comment